I’ve long resisted writing about masturbation because of the fear to be judged, ridiculed and ostracized by people I know.
But, you know: Fuck it ! I will not live for-ever with this fear — and allowing myself to write about this particular point — opens up a lot of content to write about and share with others because, let’s face it — It’s something that has ‘ruled’ my life since my early teen years —— developing over the years into a serious addiction that was/is extremely difficult to stop.
But I have managed to ease the addiction, I’d say quite greatly in retrospect to how it was before.
Though still in the process of walking the path of ‘discovery’ of and stopping all the reasons and starting-points that ‘initiate’ the act of masturbation — that are within/of the nature of self-separation — meaning where the masturbation would be done due to being angry, experiencing hate, having some sort of conflict within myself or with another, or because I feel depressed, inferior etc.
I mean, there is much controversial information regarding masturbation and whether it has some sort of negative consequence or not —— but let’s be self-honest here — if one look at one’s starting-point — one’s point/reason for initiating the process/act of masturbation – and if that initiation-point is anger, hate, frustration, desperation, depression, feeling inferior to something or someone, self-judgement — an inner-turmoil/experiences that you have and don’t want to deal with but try to ‘wash away’/suppress through creating energy that feels good and suppresses all your inner-turmoil/problems you have within yourself –— then common-sense already tells us that there is some negative consequence to this. And just because we don’t see or experience the consequence immediately doesn’t mean it’s safe and/or that there isn’t any consequence at all.
It’s already well known that the human-physical body accumulates points over time and the consequences manifest only much later within one’s lifetime — It first builds up.
Like with everything else — the starting-point of masturbation is what dictates the type of consequence/effect it will have.
And the starting-point for masturbating as of the status quo is clearly some inner experience within/of ourselves that we don’t want to deal with. And then the experience is being suppressed through masturbating — because that’s our intention = to suppress/forget/separate from the inner-turmoil/self-experience we don’t want to deal with — and when you have a close look at an experience (thoughts, emotions, feelings), it is but ENERGY and my common-sense tells me that when something gets suppressed, which is ‘putting’/’locking’ something away into something, this ‘something’ that ‘it’ gets ‘locked away’ being us/our bodies — it occupies space — and there’s only so much space in/of your body and when it gets filled there’s no more space for further ‘stuff’/energy but you still suppress/try to stuff more into yourself/body — something most definitely will get damaged.
And you can’t rely on science to tell you whether masturbation is safe or not — because science still fails to understand the mind and it has been scientifically proven that the human kind is only able to perceive less then 1% of reality (what really exists — beyond human ability to perceive).
I mean, it’s common-sense that when our starting-point is fucked-up — there will be fucked-up/undesired consequence.
So, I’ve recently started listening to the Shocking Secrets of Masturbation Interview series by Sunette Spies from Desteni and I can only suggest it to anyone who’s ‘seriously’ into the masturbation ‘business’ (most of us are; lol) as it gives perspective on what masturbation is, what happens during masturbation and the consequences, both mentally and physically, of masturbation and much more. It’s truly valuable information that you will not find anywhere else in the world.
And, this is not a ‘promotion thing’ going on here; personally I don’t care if you buy the interviews — I’m just sharing what I do to assist and support myself within my own process of stopping, not only masturbation or any other addiction, but stopping existing as a being that is subject to external manifestations that direct me and ‘tell’ me what to do, how to live and what to live — manifestations such as the mind — and to stop existing in self-interest only but expand into realizing that there’s much more to consider within existence than only myself and my own interests, for I’m not alone in existence.
Just to make it clear to not have anyone come and tell me that I’m just trying to sell something here. Lol.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear writing about and/or speaking about masturbation because I fear being judged, ridiculed and ostracized by beings I know.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be judged, ridiculed and/or ostracized by beings I know.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that writing about and/or speaking about masturbation is something to be ashamed of — because it’s apparently dirty and supposed to remain a secret within and of oneself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to keep masturbation a secret locked within myself from the eyes and consciousness from others.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I try to keep masturbation a secret and veiled from the outside world — then there must be something odd here happening that no-one should know of.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the odd thing happening due to which I want to keep masturbation my privacy/secret — is my masturbation-fantasies that I have of people.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my masturbation-fantasies include the people I fear to know about it and therefor try to keep it a secret, locked tightly within myself — where I will react in immense fear and resistance towards sharing who I am within and as masturbation.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I fear sharing who I am within and as masturbation openly to others, because of my masturbation-fantasies which include people that do not know/that aren’t ware of that I am using them in my fantasies to stimulate myself with and thus fear to be judged or even left/ostracized by them if they were to find out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people find out that I am including and using them in my fantasies to stimulate myself with, because I fear risking the relationship with those beings.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it’s self-dishonest and actually an act of abuse if I use/include people in my fantasies that I use to stimulate myself with — but do not want those people to know of it.
In that I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I actually fear here is to be exposed as an abuser.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I am willing to let a person know that I am using/including them in my fantasies to masturbate to — I should not use/include them in those fantasies to stimulate myself, because I am using them against their knowledge then.
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